I walked through a Target recently. The familiar atmosphere, engineered to be predictable and serene was replaced by incessant screaming by unfulfilled children, and crowds upon crowds of people gathering towards an end they don't completely understand. The din of an unsilenceable crowd gathers into the air like a mustard floating in the air. The smell of unwashed, anti-hygienic old people grimaces the passing crowd. Ah, the wonder of Christmastime.
But behind this seemingly wonderful mask Christmas holds up to the world, there is a very distinct fear Christmas should bring up. You see, the entire point, it blatantly advertises, is to give. Giving. The name of the game of every christmas season, but also the name of the game for the greatest enemy America has ever faced, Communism.
Christmas seems to be careening us into a world where everyone expects to be given all kinds of gifts for nothing more than being "good" which seems to be objective, because rapists in prison even get presents. It also gives the idea to children that giving for nothing is a positive thing, much like universal healthcare and voting for democrats. Santa, it seems, is the distributor of gifts wrapped in political conspiracy.
I will continue this as the Christmas conspiracy nears closer.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
So I Woke Up...
This morning I awoke to startling children's programming. You see, last night I had trouble sleeping according to standard, normal people time. Still being accustomed to Arizona's lack of daylight savings, and digital cable's constant excretion of menially fulfilling programming made sleep a distant hope. In an attempt to find a shitty channel that would be so boring it force my easily-entertained brain to lose consciousness. fortunately for all the insomniacs of the world, there exists PBS. budget constraints and overly zealous directors make PBS something that can only be described as the best thing since Ambien. Well, after no more than 5 minutes of watching some celebrity taunting program, I fell into a refreshing sleep.
Like many other times the television lingers on through the night, odd things tend to seep into the dreams of a nearby slumberer, especially on the latter half of the standard REM cycle. This particular program disturbed me. I have no idea the name of the series, but it seemed like some sort of children's program from hell. An omniscient woman, unattached to any of the featured children seemingly speaks to them, telling them what to do. Her commands were simple for the short time that I had been watching it, walk, run, and (this is the part that bothered me) march. As well as telling them, she also used sign language as she was saying these commands.
In theory, the program was probably designed to teach kids sign language at an early age. To my sick, partially sleep deprived brain, I quickly interpreted it as a training tool, of sorts. You see, the constant repitition, the group of multi-ethnic kids in a group (making it seemingly "cool"), and the womanly voice all contributing to this mass movement of deaf and able-bodied children in the search of one, tirelessly researched goal that is only realized until the children accomplishes it, PBS world domination.
PBS, with its overzealous artsy fartsy bullshit hippy directors and chairmen, all want to spread this idea of free television for all. They know they can't get anything after kids start watching power rangers, let alone any adults. So they target their largest audience, toddlers who can't talk.
This episode was march, next episode will be torture tactics, the final episode, the toppling of the US government on live TV, all slowly explained in sign language by a hand puppet.
Like many other times the television lingers on through the night, odd things tend to seep into the dreams of a nearby slumberer, especially on the latter half of the standard REM cycle. This particular program disturbed me. I have no idea the name of the series, but it seemed like some sort of children's program from hell. An omniscient woman, unattached to any of the featured children seemingly speaks to them, telling them what to do. Her commands were simple for the short time that I had been watching it, walk, run, and (this is the part that bothered me) march. As well as telling them, she also used sign language as she was saying these commands.
In theory, the program was probably designed to teach kids sign language at an early age. To my sick, partially sleep deprived brain, I quickly interpreted it as a training tool, of sorts. You see, the constant repitition, the group of multi-ethnic kids in a group (making it seemingly "cool"), and the womanly voice all contributing to this mass movement of deaf and able-bodied children in the search of one, tirelessly researched goal that is only realized until the children accomplishes it, PBS world domination.
PBS, with its overzealous artsy fartsy bullshit hippy directors and chairmen, all want to spread this idea of free television for all. They know they can't get anything after kids start watching power rangers, let alone any adults. So they target their largest audience, toddlers who can't talk.
This episode was march, next episode will be torture tactics, the final episode, the toppling of the US government on live TV, all slowly explained in sign language by a hand puppet.
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