The Kalamity of the Kool Kids

The Power Rangers were an action kids series that, if I'm correct, continues to this day. It was truly, the coolest show on television for the 6-12 crowd, and, it had a line of super cool action figures that added cars ad spring action projectiles with the added possibility of choking, giving a further sense of danger involved.

The first round of the series was awesome. obviously popular teenagers at the local hangout are called by a creepy omniscient alien in a tube who "teleport" them to a hideout somehow never found by any domestic spy satellite. Among them is a steroid abusing weight lifter, some black guy, a creepy eunuch geek, another token black chick, and some whore. Collectively, they were the Power Rangers. Everyday at about 3, they would be sitting around in a bar doing something stupid, and suddenly the alien guy would call them up with the help of an annoying robot type thing who looks more like an awkward sex toy than any type of useful alien technology. They would then be sent to a field or junk yard and fight a crowd of putty people who walk like they have been recently fucked up the ass. After quickly eradicating these putty people the crazy bitch dressed like a bag lady would say some weird ass line obviously written by an elementary school teacher fired for butt raping little boys, and suddenly some monster would become substantially taller. Not having the capability to destroy it themselves, they would call upon their complementary dinosaur themed robots, conveniently just as large as the guy they are fighting. They would then combine and suddenly, wham bam, the bitch is back on the run. All of this filmed in standard cheap ass fashion that children still expect. All the writing non offensive, but still edgy enough to mildly entertain any pre-pubescent boy.

After about a season, the equation was getting old, and, being the nineties, they mixed it up by adding another character. So, in standard capitalist fashion, a made for VHS movie was released, and the Green Ranger was born. fast forward 1 or two years and the same amount of research and development, and green was replaced with white, and the White Power Ranger was spawned, upping viewership as planned.

This I believe, is where the series entered what some might call the golden age, but what i call the bleach age. You see, as the White Power Ranger was created, the two black people (black and yellow) were nixed. Also, what the fuck were they thinking putting a WHITE POWER ranger on a KIDS show. WHITE POWER, KIDS SHOW. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK! there was white power advertised as a wonderful, powerful, great thing, destroying evil and getting rid of all evil in general. During the seasons that the white ranger was around, the putty guys, WERE BLACK. fucking speechless, fucking goddamn what the fuck slap me in the ass and kill a bitch fucking fucker fuck. I don't get it, I really don't.

For your information, the white ranger appeared for seasons 2 and 3, the creators got the fucking point up until season 10 where some dumbass must've stood on his balls and screamed, "White Power!!" and some idiot decided it was a good idea. this was repeated for 12 through 14.


Thank you wikipedia